Partner's reactions

Carers describe many different feelings about continuing a sexual relationship with their partners.  Some may feel pleasure in that this is something that they can still share.  Others may actually feel disgust as someone who seems like a stranger is touching them.  As the illness progresses the situation often changes and so do their feelings.

• Some carers find it impossible to even think of sex because they are caring for their husband or wife as a parent cares for a child.  They find that the very private tasks they have to do for the person put them off the idea of sex.
• Many carers find it hard to enjoy a sexual relationship when the relationship has changed so much and very little is shared.  They feel they are living with a different person.
• Some carers find that their partners are clumsy and inconsiderate because of the dementia but they don't want to hurt their feelings or destroy their confidence.  Sex then becomes something to be put up with rather than enjoyed.
• Carers often feel guilty about their reactions and feel the need to talk to someone who understands the situation.