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Loss

If you are a family caregiver, you can expect to experience feelings of loss, especially as your life and the person you love are changed by Alzheimer’s disease.  The natural phases of grieving usually involve denial, anger, guilt, physical symptoms, and eventually acceptance.  It is important to know, however, that everyone grieves differently.

Symptoms of grief

  • Denial that your loved one is ill

  • Periods of helplessness, despair and depression

  • Changes in appetite or sleep patterns

  • Feelings of anger or frustration with the person with Alzheimer’s and with caregiving tasks

  • Withdrawal from social activities, friends, family and the person you care for

Throughout the process of grieving and mourning, guilt is often the most prevalent feeling for caregivers.

Guilt can be related to:

  • Thinking you could have done something differently

  • Being able to enjoy life while your loved one may not

  • Feelings that you have failed, especially if your loved one has been placed in a nursing home

  • Negative thoughts about the person with the disease — wishing that his or her suffering would come to an end

  • Conflicts with family members because they are uninvolved or critical of the care that’s being provided

In many cases, feelings of guilt are linked to unrealistic expectations.  To cope with the grieving process, try taking the following steps:

  • Confront your feelings

  • Accept guilt as a normal part of loss and grief

  • Find ways to forgive yourself

  • Share your feelings with a friend, support group, therapist or spiritual leader

  • Learn to feel comfortable accepting and celebrating good things in your life

If grieving is so prolonged or severe that your physical and mental well-being are at risk, seek help from your doctor.  There are ways that you can begin to cope with grief, including:

  • Returning to some aspects of your daily routine

  • Allowing time for physical exercise, play and rest

  • Trying to find humour, even in difficult situations

  • Bringing balance to your life by doing things that you enjoy

  • Preparing for what the future may entail

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